Certain dreams don’t come true.. Sunday, April 22, 2007
Well, I guess d title says it all..i din win curtin idol, but I’m not mourning..so dun worry, every1..i can accept defeat..n I can accept dat in a competition, sum1 has 2 lose..wel, it jz happened 2 b me tis time..
But of all things, i’ve reali learnt alot thru tis 1 month period dat d comp has been ongoing..d xperience n stuff I learnt, I’l alwiz rmb n treasure it..
It was my 1st time ever entering a nite club..i mz say I reali din noe dat d venue was at a nite club..disco style wif d dancefloor s my ‘stage’ n all..reali, I had imagined myself on a proper stage wif d spotlight on n I can sing 2 my fans down below..so glam..but it turned out differently..hip music wif flashy lights n bartenders standing bhind bar counters..n most of all, d ppl who attended n how they behave in nite clubs..i can say dat wut we c on tv is quite real..i guess my ‘reputation’ s being holygirl is tarnished coz I went 2 such a place, but I tel myself, dat I din go there 4 clubbing, dancing or drinking..its all bcoz of d comp..if it wasn’t bcoz of d comp, I would nv step foot in2 such places..sori if I offend ne1..i noe sum ppl do go 2 clubs..i’m jz saying bout myself, coz I’ve nv tot of myself visiting clubs..n I’m not saying ppl who go 2 clubs r evil or nething..jz dat I think if u all noe me, i’m jz not d kind who goes 2 these places n I think u wud b shocked if I wud 2 go rite..but yday’s event was quite controlled I guess..since it WAS a uni event, wif security officers doing their jobs well..2 d xtent dat frenz who came but 4got 2 bring their passports were not allowed 2 enter..tis includes Sylvia, who had jamal 2 drive her home 2 get her passport n come bek again..n yiemin oso nearly cudnt enter coz he wasn’t wearing d ‘right attire’..nv knew dat sports shoes were not allowed in a night club..
Neway, bek 2 details bout d event. Wun include everything tho..2 long 2 type..
We were given 5 sets of kinda horrible-looking jewellery sets sponsored by sum jewellery company which we were ‘requested’ 2 wear during our performance..4 of which were gold in colour..!i quickly grabbed d silver 1 n realized dat d earrings were xtremely long...SUPER long..nv seen such long earrings..so I asked if we cud oni wear ‘part’ of d set n not d whole set..coz d whole set wud b too much 4 my costume..its totally absurd..! d necklace was sooooo long n I wud look like terencat if I wore it wif those xtremely long earrings..it was bcoz d dress I wearing 4 my slow song was a v-necked dress, dats y d long necklace quite fitted...otherwise, it’d b weird s wel..
N den, I stupidly accidentally picked ‘number 1’ 2 perform wen we were drawing lots..aih..was xpecting 2 perform say 3rd, 4th of 5th..coz ppl tend 2 4get early performers..but wel, ntg cud b done..
So I jz got myself ready, went on2 d dancefloor n belted out 1st song, best of my love. I tried 2 imagine dat I was alone in my room, so dat I can act myself n danced like how I syok sendiri in d room..but of coz, I held bek 2 a certain xtent..i’m jz 2 shy 2 dance solo in front of 300 + ppl ok..i think every1’l faint if I let myself go..no1 has seen dat side of me man..n d amount I moved dat day was already much much more den I’ve ever shown 2 d outside world..
Comments were gud..xcept dat I din ‘move enuf n conquer d stage’..sori but I’ve done all I can do on ‘stage’..any more n I wud feel v not myself..awkward even..
N dat was d end of round 1 4 me..relieved, I din bother 2 listen 2 d other contestants, jz went 2 change n prepare myself 4 d 2nd round..
Wif more encouragements fr ppl n boosted self esteem fr previous comments, not mentioning d continuous cheers fr frenz which din seem 2 end, I went on ‘stage’ wif more confidence n sang my 2nd song wen I was announced, n gave it my all..i’ve nv sung my destiny wif so much intensity, n I pushed my voice 2 d max, hoping 2 drown d remnants of d ori singer’s voice in d minus 1 I did wif adobe audition..finally rewarded wif 2 bouquets of flowers presented by frenz..happy 2 hit all my high notes n not mixing up my lyrics, I eagerly waited 4 d comments n happily, I got v gud comments..
Judge 1: u’re a small gurl wif a powerful voice..v gud..
Judge 2: I cudn’t stop looking at u wen u were singing..i ‘felt’ ur song..
Judge 3: u picked a difficult song 2 sing..n u pulled it off pretty well..
*happy*
satisfied wif my performance, n relieved dat it was all over, I felt a wave of hunger..reminding me dat d last time I ate was at 11.30 in d morning.. =S
waited n waited 4 d event 2 b over, so dat I cud go 4 a proper meal..aft bout an hr of break, which in dat time, got a lot of false hopes, predictions n encouragement which made me feel sooooo xcited n felt dat I was reali in2 sumthing great, results were announced..n wel, s mentioned, hopes given were false, predictions din come 2 pass, but I knew encouragements were true fr ur hearts..i dun wan2 mention names n stuff told 2 me during dat hr break, coz it wud sound reali pathetic now dat it wasn’t how i was told it wud turn out..but it was truly a disappointment..i cud c d faces of frenz wen my name wasn’t mentioned., d anxiousness n d looks on their faces which were like ‘omg..she’s gonna b sooo sad..is she ok??looks like she’s gonna cry..!!’ wel, mayb ur stares din mean tis, but dat was how it looked 2 me..so frenz, dun worry, I’m ok, stil going on strong, n able 2 stand up again..
wel, it din turn out bad aft all rite..coz I managed 2 win d people’s choice award..which was based on voting..so I suppose, curtin idol placings, were determined by judges, but voting by public determines d people’s choice award..so, tq 2 all who voted 4 me.. =)
I can truly say dat tis has been a v fulfilling xperience dat I dun think I cud hv gotten fr newhere else if I din participate in tis..
For 1, I can say I dat I’ve BEEN 2 a bar/pub/nite club..wuteva u cal it..
Also, i think I’ve grown much musically fr tis comp..i nv knew I cud do so many things which I did in tis comp, eg singing fast song, which was my 1st time wen I sang jojo’s how 2 touch a gurl in d semi finals..wel, it wasn’t dat fast actually..but it WAS upbeat..diff fr those I used 2 sing..but best of my love was reali d fast retro kind n it is reali my 1st time singing such kinds of songs..i oso managed 2 overcame my fear of ‘moving’ wen singing on stage, sumthing I’ve nv been able 2 do last time..i rmb there was once I was supposed 2 sing a song in church, alone..i begged 2 sing it bhind d curtains, n a ballerina b put on stage 2 dance instead..i din mind my voice being heard, I jz duwan 2 look like a piece of wood on stage..but I ended up wif a kb instead..so playing d kb gave me an xcuse 2 avoid looking at d audience..jz stare at my keys n my fingers on d kb..looking at these..i feel I’ve grown..tis comp has reali pushed me 2 a whole new level..made me develop wut I nv tot I had in me..n for dat, I’m glad I participated..true enuf, I noe I wud regret if I din join in d beginning..
Gosh I sound like I’m emo-ing in tis post..i think I’ve nv posted such an emo-fied entry b4..so now 4 credits..
Yeefang, yijia, siawtze, candy, aishah, mira n jinming, basically my hsemates, thx 4 listening tirelessly 2 my singing..esp yeefang..i noe our walls r not exactly sound proof..so I’m sori if I’ve caused 2 wake up at nite wif my high pitch screaming..aishah, thx 4 d free spa treatment n facial n making me feel pampered..n oso 4 asking frenz like jamal n Sylvia 2 attend d event..thx oso 2 jamal 4 d flowers dat he sponsored..candy, thx 4 attending despite hving test early d nx morning..reali wasted a lot of ur precious time which u cud b studying..jinming, its ok if u din go..i noe u support me morally..
other intecians- jac, cheahyen, mich, lingweng, yityeng..thx 4 helping out in lets-dress-jiahuei-up sessions.jac, 4 altering n sponsoring d tube top..cheahyen, 4 making me look pretty wif ur artistic skills wif face paint aka makeup set..n 4 giving my eyes a nice kind of kena tumbuk feel wif d purple n brown shades.. =P
hsiuli, u look great dat day man..its a waste u din get best dressed..hehe..thx a lot 4 arranging transport 4 d others..otherwise they wun b able 2 go..u play a v imp role u noe..hehe..kiongzheng n yiemin..thx 4 staying n being there 2 support..heard u guys danced..haha..i shdve seen..
2 richard, thx 4 ur super loud cheers, loud until I cudnt hear d music n therefore I started my song late n I missed a few words..haha..but reali..wut they say is true..ur voice can make up 4 3 or 4 ppl’s voices..dem loud..n oso 4 ur sporting-ness 2 offer d flowers 2 me..
luqman, thx 4 all ur wishes eventho u cudnt come..i noe u mz hv ur reasons..
cell group members- Lawrence, iris, yanhua, fei, Kimberly, anna, jon, Janice, han ni, jenny, stephen, joe n gf (sori I dunno how 2 spell..so scared spell wrong) thx 4 coming n supporting..n postponing cell group 2 another time instead..it made all d difference in d world..lawrence, 4 being a constant listening ear wen I needed 2 talk n complain..n 4 organising everything..n oso 4 sponsoring d flowers too..iris, 4 opening ur hse 4 me 2 try all sorts of baju n 4 curling my hair..u do it beta den d klang hairdresser I went 2 last time..she made me look like goldilocks..urs was nice.. =) yan, 4 everything u’ve done 2 help me..in those last hrs b4 comp, u understand me d most music-wise, n u’re reali d oni 1 here I can discuss wif wen it comes 2 music..thx 4 being willing 2 overnite in my hse despite d short notice I gave u..jz 2 relieve my stress..n 4 d honey water which I din get 2 drink..hehe..sori..2 fei, thx 4 ur wishes oso n ur presenting of flowers..kim, 4 ur clothes which I like but I cant fit in..i’m fat u c..anna, 4 buying tix n encouraging smses..jon, thx 4 coming even tho ur test is NEXT FRIDAY!!janice..i jz love ur dress ok..thx 4 lending it 2 me..i was able 2 save soooo much money bcoz of it..n it jz fits d long necklace which I picked..n others oso 4 coming n supporting n all d nice words said..also 2 weiyan (kim’s cousin-not sure spelling too), thx 4 being a surprise visitor..n 4 kind words n supporting encouragements..reali appreciate it..yanjing, ur sms is v cute..haha..thx a lot..marcus, i was quite relieved dat u were d emcee honestly..coz angmohs tend 2 cal me 'jaihiu' i dunno y..so, thx 4 pronouncing my name properly.. =P n also 4 all d encouraging words too..
2 frenz in elsewhere- jingguo, thx 4 all ur effort in trying 2 find d songs..its ok if u din find dem..dun say sori..i shd b d 1 saying sori coz I alwiz mafan u..n oso 4 listening 2 me wen I rant n rant n rant..once again, take my secrets 2 d grave..szeching, yeam n wenjun, 4 ur calls n encouragement wen comp was drawing near..reali helped me lessen my burden..2 all others who came wif wishes n smses..tq all..xtine, nooihoay, peifei, chauwang, amelene, Jessica tan, Linda, boon, szehuey, michelle tan, christabel, christi..omg..i hope I din miss out ne1..
jane, tq too 4 ur constant support n encouragements..sue, 4 listening 2 my frustrations n giving me sound advice everytime I need dem..n oso 4 finding d song 4 me..reali..without u, I wudnt b able 2 sing my destiny at all.. =) n last but not least, 2 jess yim n kim loke..hope u gurlz read tis..thx 4 ur wishes d b4 d comp..hope I din disappoint every1..
posted by ~luckystar~ @ 1:41 AM